When Love is Hard Work

The readings this week are very challenging and also hopeful as we are given guidance on how to respond to the real-life problems of loving in community and discerning how love and compassion looks when there is conflict and struggle. (Fifteenth Sunday after Pentecost. Proper 18 [23]. Matthew 18:15-20.) 

Sentence:

“Give me understanding, that I may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart.” Psalm 119:34

Collect:

Gracious God, you have created us with love for the purposes of love.

When we forget that you love us – remind us.

When we forget you love everyone – correct us.

When we find loving hard work – instruct and encourage us.

And at our end welcome us home to the source of all love. Amen.

Reflection:

Our readings from the Hebrew Bible make it clear that responding to evil and those we love but differ with is not a new problem. And our readings this week, from old and new testaments, offer some challenging and helpful wisdom about how to respond.

You may like to read previous posts on these same readings.

Loosing and Binding

Being Community

Often in the church, rightfully so, we are reminded to love our neighbour and a good preacher will point out that our neighbour often looks, talks, and thinks differently to ourselves. That is, we are called to love those who are “other” to ourselves. But maybe we are not challenged and encouraged often enough about how to love those who are not only different but in error, at least in our opinion! (Now that last point is important to note as religious persons can be way too certain that the “other” is in error!)

The prophet Ezekiel has a rather alarming warning that if we know something is wrong and do not speak truth to power then we are complicit and have some responsibility for what happens and the results will be as blood on our hands. At first this sounds frightening but if we think about it this is psychologically and socially true. If we can see wrong or unwise decision making and behaviour and do not call it out then we shall have to watch the terrible consequences being visited upon our neighbours and ourselves! Think of government policies, industry short term decision making with environmental and economic consequences, or family conflict that escalates to violence. We may not have done the wrong thing but we may have failed to do the right thing.

Once again, I say this with the caution that we must be humble enough to attempt to sort out our personal opinions from divine truths. God’s purpose in this is not to delight in catching people out in error but to restore us all to life! “Say to them: As I live, says the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked but that the wicked turn from their ways and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways, for why will you die, O house of Israel?” (Ezekiel 33:11)

St Paul reminds us that loving our neighbour is the fulfilment of the law and cautions us to mind our own conduct. Fulfilling the commandments is not about blind obedience to ancient practices but living in such a way that we do not harm to our neighbour.

But the words of Jesus, as reported by Matthew, are the most specific in terms of guiding us how to be wise responding to conflict and wrong behaviour. Now there are some who seem to make a sport out of correcting others but most of us tend to avoid doing so out of caution and soft hearts. But Jesus says there are bigger issues than if we approve of other’s behaviour or not! If we – after having prayerfully considered if there really is an issue to address – speak to a sister or brother and they listen then that one has been regained or restored! A strong and loving motivation to take into difficult situations. And if we do not “win” them over then we are to treat them as a gentile and a tax collector. Which sounds very harsh until we remember how Jesus treated gentiles and tax collectors! He kept calling them to follow, offering healing and inclusion across social and religious divides!!

Maybe most challenging of all is the statement that what we loose or bind on earth has eternal implications. If we do not attend to the difficult relationship issues then we leave others at loose when they should be constrained or bound when they should be freed! And if this sounds vague think of the church’s complicity in child sexual abuse by not binding abusing clergy or other members but letting them remain at loose with vulnerable ones!!! And think of the healing that loosening the bonds on those who are in some way constrained or enslaved and that have been excluded or judged for so long!

Even so, come Lord Jesus the Christ, come forgive us and heal us so that we can loosen and bind in your name and make love real in our community. Amen.

Intercessions:

Creator God,

In creation you have expressed yourself in myriad forms of life,

help us so to look and live that we see you everywhere and in everyone.

Let us rejoice in the beauty and awesome power of your world

And may we be wise and tender custodians of our corner of the earth.

We particularly pray for those places where there is rupture and suffering due to catastrophe. Protect and strengthen all agencies of care and neighbours who offer shelter and aid.

Help us reach across the divides of distance and difference

with care for our neighbours.

Creator God,

Hear our prayer.

Reconciling Jesus our Lord,

Bless and challenge all who meet in your name,

so that we can grow in compassion and wisdom,

accepting correction and bringing justice and encouragement to bear

within the family of faith.

We particularly pray for those we are most closely bound with and those seeking belonging. Help us find ways of growing in maturity and bearing the fruit of loving relationships. We remember in your presence those parts of our community where we are in need of healing.

May we be an example of mature and faithful loving

in this world of broken connections.

Reconciling Jesus,

Hear our prayer.

Spirit of new life,

Ignite within us the divine spark of wisdom and love of neighbour

until we all burn with the same spark that birthed us all.

We particularly pray that we find ways of working through conflict and difference that bring us closer together until we give praise in the way we live and love.

When we despair and cannot imagine a better way

surprise us with your holy dreaming

until we live and move and have our being in you.

Spirit of new life,

Hear our prayer.

Living God,

Creator, Reconciler, and Spirit of new life,

Renew us in love that we might live as messages of hope in your world.

Amen. 

This is my work informed by all that I have heard, read and experienced. I am indebted to the wisdom of others.